• My head says, “Who cares?” But then my heart whispers, “You do, stupid…”
  • I was glad I wasn’t in love, that I wasn’t happy with the world. I like being at odds with everything. People in love often become edgy, dangerous. They lose their sense of perspective. They lose their sense of humor. They become nervous, psychotic bores. They even become killers.
  • She was a good woman. I liked her. She was really concerned about me, she wanted me to do well, she wanted me to write well, she wanted me to fuck well, look well, I could feel it. It was fine.


  • “Lydia…”
  • “What is it?”
  • “I’ve got to tell you something.”
  • “What is it?”
  • “I’ve got to see Dee Dee.”
  • “Go see Dee Dee?”
  • “Don’t be funny. There’s a reason.”
  • “You said it was all over.”
  • “It is. I just don’t want to let her down too hard. I want to explain to her what happened. People are too cold with each other. I don’t want her back; I just want to explain what happened, so she’ll understand.”
  • “You want to fuck her.”
  • “No, I don’t want to fuck her… I just want to explain.”
  • “I don’t like it. It sounds… icky… to me
  • “I just want to clear things up. I’ll be back soon.”
  • “Alright.”


  • “You want a whore. You’re afraid of love.”


  • You might be right.”


  • “I passed the test, but afterwards I thought, how can a man test a woman’s fidelity? It seemed unfair”
  • “She talked on it was easy to listen to her. There was wisdom and some laughter in each of her tales. Nicole was impressing me more than she knew. That worried me, sometimes.”
  • “She liked him, but not enough to fuck him right away.”
  • Goodness could be found sometimes in the middle of hell.”
  • America was a shitty place to fuck.”
  • Most people are much better at saying things in letters than in conversation and some people can write artistic, inventive, letters, but when they try a poem or story or novel they become pretentious.”
  • “Why always more women? What was I trying to do?”
  • “My cock rose. I had recently been taking a lot of vitamin E.”
  • “The thought of sex as something forbidden excited me beyond all reason.”
  • Good women frightened me because they eventually wanted your soul, and what was left of mine, I wanted to keep… at the same time I yearned for a gentle, good woman, despite the overwhelming price.”
  • I could see the headline:




  • She said, “I’m hot! I play with myself but it doesn’t do any good.”
  • “My leg is still in terrible shape.”
  • “A rest until your leg heals?”
  • “How am I going to make it meanwhile?”
  • I’ll play Scrabble with you.”
  • Lydia screamed… You son-of-a-bitch I’ll kill you.”
  • “The waitresses had on short red dresses that showed their ruffled white panties. The necklines of their dresses were cut low to show their breasts. They earned their salaries; they earned their tips, every cent. They lived in suburbs and they hated men. They lived with their mothers and brothers and were in love with their psychiatrists.”
  • “It was easy to write about whores, but to write about a good woman was much more difficult.”
  • “She was beginning to understand winners didn’t shoot off their mouths.”
  • “Art takes discipline. Any asshole can chase a skirt.”
  • “She was obviously high on pills.”

She said, “It will cost you $100 for a piece of ass.”

I’ll pass.” I disliked her right off.

  • “People with no morals often considered themselves more free, but mostly they lacked the ability to feel or to love.”


  • “You want to press charges?” the cop asked me
  • “No, she has children. I don’t want her to lose her kids.”
  • “The trouble,” he told me, “is that you’re insecure, you lack confidence in yourself.”
  • “Be kind to me, Joanna, sucking and fucking aren’t everything.”
  • “The worst writers had the most confidence, the least self doubt.”
  • “I was glad we had met. There was very little bullshit in him… he was tough, chunky little guy, you knew he could duke it, you knew he had been there. I was fond of him.”
  • “It’s not so much my sex drive that’s offended, it’s my ego.”
  • “She had this special way of looking into my eyes. It was neither coy nor sexy, it was perfect.”
  • “Sara slipped me a love note with her phone number. Debra… just wrote down her phone number. For a moment-strangely- I thought about Katherine.”
  • You don’t come on and try to impress like some men.”
  • “Some were kinder than others, some were simply more interested in you, and sometimes the outwardly beautiful & inwardly cold were necessary… the kinder ones fucked better, really, and after you were around them a while they seemed beautiful because they were.”
  • “She said sex meant marriage…yet I could also imagine that she got off in a lot of ways. I didn’t even particularly want to wear her down, I didn’t agree with her ideas but I liked her anyway.”
  • “I was simply letting things happen without thinking about them… I was worse than any whore… How could I call myself a man?”
  • “She appeared to climax along with me. Of course a man never knew.”
  • “Neither of us making demands, yet there had been warmth, it had not been without feeling. Dead meat coupled with dead meat’ I detested that type of swinging.”
  • Some morals tended to keep people slaves in factories, in churches, and true to the state. Other morals simply made good sense. It was like a garden filled with poisoned fruit and good fruit. You had to know which to pick and which to leave alone.”
  • “She had better common sense than any woman I had ever met. Perhaps only one other…could match her.”
  • “It ain’t been a bad year. Nobody killed me.”
  • “It made me feel low that I couldn’t praise him without reservation. But then if you lied to a man about his talent just because he was sitting across from you, that was the most unforgivable lie of them all.”
  • Great kissing was seldom rare.”
  • “She really let herself go. It had always been the same in the past. [God] was watching up there… And then suddenly she took a hold of my cock and slid it into her…”
  • “Maybe I’m not a good man… you’ve been very kind to me. I’m not sure I always know what I’m doing.”
  • “She really wasn’t a bad girl. She had such a sad look about her… I wasn’t quite sure what she expected of me. I had no desire to make her feel bad. I kissed her… There was so much sadness in everything, even when things worked.”
  • “Do you think I’m a chippy(slut)?”
  • No, You love sex and there’s nothing wrong with that.”
  • She said, “You act more innocent than any man I’ve ever met.”
  • [She] deserved better treatment than I gave her. People owed each other certain loyalties even if they weren’t married. In a way, the trust should run deeper because it wasn’t sanctified by the law.”
  • “I’m a cute chick.”
  • “You probably are.”
  • “My name is Rochelle.”
  • Goodbye Rochelle.”

I hung up. There I had done it.

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